


Dirt Stains on My Hands

by kristhaswaggerdaddy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, forgot to post this a few months back lolololololo, the tainted claim: drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 12:23:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8532979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristhaswaggerdaddy/pseuds/kristhaswaggerdaddy
Summary: Kyungsoo wants to surprise Jongin for their three-month anniversary.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A drabble from The Tainted Claim. No, i wont be reposting it lol so dont ask

Kyungsoo grunted, pulling out a weed from the ground. “You’re not welcome here anymore, so find yourself another home,” he muttered to the straggly plant in his hand. He could feel its cry of pain in his mind as its roots came free, but he had to ignore it. If he was going to impress Jongin with his roses tomorrow, he’d have to clear out any last bit of weeds now.

 _I thought the castle gardens were a refuge_ , the plant protested. Kyungsoo sighed. “It is. For pretty flowers. Now, I need to plant you somewhere else—”

 _But I like the soil here, it’s soft,_  the plant said, sounding upset.

Kyungsoo wondered if he could ever get over this, talking to plants like a mental patient. The thing is, he wasn’t too worried about talking to the plants; it was the talking back that he couldn’t quite wrap his head around.

Ever since New Year’s Eve, Kyungsoo had discovered small abilities that he didn’t have before. He could communicate with plants telepathically now, which was exciting at first, but he soon realized that his gift wasn’t entirely a blessing. As someone was—to put it bluntly—freeloading off his one-and-only-true-love-who-happened-to-be-a-king, he felt it his responsibility to take upon himself the job of planting a new batch of flowers in the castle gardens. In other words, he was a gardener now.

It was fun to talk to little seeds and plantlets whenever he came in contact with them but he found himself in tough spots whenever he had to get rid of weeds. They would always beg him to keep them, but he couldn’t. His roses were complaining of lack of nutrition and water. And it was a bit hypocritical to throw out a freeloading plant when he himself was a freeloader too, so he always made it a point to make trips to the forest and replant the little weeds there.

But now, this little weedy bugger was a problem.

Kyungsoo  _could_  go to the forest and replant him there except it was midnight, and the moon wasn’t even out so he couldn’t very well just run off and plant the weed and come back. Second of all, he came out at night because he wanted to meddle with the roses’ growth a bit and make them bloom by the time the morning sun came up to surprise Jongin. The roses weren’t supposed to blossom for at least another fortnight, but if Kyungsoo could make Jongin smile, what was a bit of acceleration in growth?

He looked down at the weed in his hand. It’d dry up by morning, and he only had enough time to make the roses grow and return to bed before Jongin found out he was gone.

 _Please keep me_ , the plant pleaded. “You’re not even pretty, why would I keep you?” Kyungsoo replied the weed. It shrivelled up in his hands pitifully. He didn’t know what sort of weed it was, with its purplish leaves and vine-like stem. Kyungsoo sighed, looking at his roses. They would be about a foot and a half high once Kyungsoo helped them grow, so maybe if Kyungsoo hid the weed somewhere between the roses until morning at least…

“Fine. I’ll put you with the roses, but I’m taking you out first thing in the morning, alright?” Kyungsoo said to the plant.  _Yes, that’d be nice_ , it replied him meekly.

It wasn’t as easy as he thought it’d be. He got down on his knees and squinted in the dark for a spot to place the weed.  _Ooh, Kyungsoo, what are you doing at this time of day? I need my beauty sleep, you know,_  the roses whispered to him excitedly.

“Shut up, you sound like Luhan,” Kyungsoo groused, reaching over to touch the soil.  _Luhan trampled on one of us yesterday_ , the roses chirped at him. “I’ll make sure to beat him up about it then.”

“Is anyone here?” he said at the soil, sounding stupid to his own ears, but it was the right thing to do anyway. If he dug the wrong spot, he’d kill one of his roses or injure them by accident.

There was only silence, so Kyungsoo took it as a sign that there were no plants in that particular spot. He pushed his fingers into the soft, dark soil and made a little hole by pushing the soil around, praying that Jongin wouldn’t wake up to find him gone. Lord only knew what he’d do if he got it into his head that Kyungsoo had been kidnapped or something.

“Here’s your new home for now,” Kyungsoo said to the little weed. “Don’t take too much nutrition and water from the roses, alright? You’re only here for the night,” he said firmly. The plant made a tiny, excited noise in his head and he smiled to himself.  _At least someone is happy tonight_ , he thought.

Placing the weed in the hole, he patted some soil over its roots and let his hand glow a warm green to make sure the weed would survive the night. “Finally,” Kyungsoo grunted, when the weed settled into the soil nicely.

He stood up, flicking soil away from his fingers. Honestly. All he came down from his warm bed was to make his roses grow a little faster and now his hands were all dirty. Stepping back, he concentrated, taking a deep breath to let his thoughts calm. Kyungsoo exhaled slowly, and his hands started to glow once more.

There was something that put him at ease to summon the earth, Kyungsoo thought. It made him feel happy that he could make the plants’ lives easier, since they were such helpless little things. Waving a hand while feeling like a dumb magician over the roses, the green glow from his hands sank down on the roses, and within seconds they started growing at an alarming rate, sprouting leaves and thorns. He let the earth do its thing and stopped the growing process just before the flowers bloomed. By morning, the roses were going to be red and white and hopefully, Jongin would like it.

“Are you happy?” Kyungsoo whispered to a rose, touching its stem carefully. Strangely enough, the rose was silent.

“Hello?” Kyungsoo said to the rose.

“Love?”

For a split second, Kyungsoo wondered if the rose had turned into Jongin, but then he quickly realized that this wasn’t Beauty and the Beast, so he squeaked loudly as he turned around, spotting Jongin at the French doors.

“Hi,” Kyungsoo mouthed, backing away from the roses. “I wasn’t like, sneaking around or anything, y’know. Just taking a walk ‘cause I was um—sleepy. I mean, not sleepy,” Kyungsoo babbled, spouting any nonsense his mind could conjure without filtering the words.

Jongin looked sleepy with his sexy hair messed up and pants pulled over his sexy legs hastily. He looked extra sexy with no top on, but Kyungsoo tried not to think too much about that. “Were you talking to the plants again?” Jongin asked, voice husky and quiet.

Kyungsoo gestured awkwardly to the roses beside him. “Chyeah, totally, I mean look at them, they’re all grown up now,” Kyungsoo said eloquently.

Jongin chuckled, rubbing at his eyes. “I saw you meddling with the plants, love.” Thanks to the weed, his surprise was now ruined. He was never going to save another weed at midnight ever again.

“I… I wanted to surprise you, since tomorrow means we’ve been together for three months,” Kyungsoo said softly, giving up all pretences. There was no use lying to Jongin anymore now that Jongin could read his mind if he wanted to, which was frustrating at times like these. Kyungsoo had tried so hard not to think about the roses and now the surprise was ruined.

“That’s thoughtful of you,  _min kjærlighet_ , but I think a simple gift would’ve sufficed,” Jongin said, padding over to Kyungsoo. He was barefooted, Kyungsoo noticed. Jongin must’ve hurried out of the room the minute he woke up and followed Kyungsoo’s trail of thought all the way to the gardens. (Almost like GPS, except it never made mistakes.)  

“I wanted the garden to look like the Red Queen’s garden, y’know, while her gardeners were painting the white roses red,” Kyungsoo said, stepping forward to hold Jongin’s hand.

“Red Queen… That’s Alice in Wonderland, isn’t it?” Jongin asked, yawning. Kyungsoo smiled and nodded. Kyungsoo had told Jongin a few fairy tales over the past few months, since he wanted Jongin to know the stories he grew up with. Alice in Wonderland was just one of the many he had shared with Jongin.

“The roses are wonderful, love, but this isn’t the hour for gardening,” Jongin murmured, brushing a hand through Kyungsoo’s hair.

“Like I said, I wanted to surprise you in the morning,” Kyungsoo sulked. “And you just  _had_  to wake up and ruin the surprise.”

“Well, apologies are in order then. Perhaps I could pretend this never happened in the morning,” Jongin whispered, leaning forward to kiss Kyungsoo. He let Jongin’s lips linger over his own, opening up when Jongin slid his tongue out to lick at Kyungsoo’s lower lip.

“My hands are dirty,” Kyungsoo murmured, putting his arm around Jongin’s neck to pull him down to his height. His fingers brushed over Jongin’s scar, a reminder of why Kyungsoo loved him so much.

“Doesn’t matter, love,” Jongin replied, drawing an arm around Kyungsoo’s waist. Kyungsoo kissed Jongin some more before he pulled away, looking up at him. “Do you like my surprise?” Kyungsoo asked expectantly.

Jongin smiled, putting both of Kyungsoo’s hands around his neck. “What surprise?” he said innocently. It was just like Jongin to humour Kyungsoo.

*

In the morning, Kyungsoo woke up on Jongin’s chest, drooling over his ribcage. He clamped his mouth shut once he realized what the wet feeling on his cheek was and wiped his drool away with the sheets before Jongin woke up.

“Wake up,” Kyungsoo mumbled, collapsing beside Jongin’s warm body. “Mm?” Jongin didn’t open his eyes, only pulled Kyungsoo onto him again. Kyungsoo lay heavily over Jongin; if he couldn’t breathe then it was Jongin’s problem.

“Wake up and smell the roses,” Kyungsoo said, burying his face into the crook of Jongin’s neck. Jongin chuckled, his chest rumbling under Kyungsoo. “What roses, my love?”

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to laugh and he sat up, feeling too amused to fall asleep just yet. Besides, the sun was awfully bright in the room. He was fairly sure it was almost noon. “I don’t know, Jongin, but maybe the roses are at the castle gardens,” Kyungsoo said, drawing a big circle over Jongin’s chest.

“A surprise, love?” Jongin asked, cracking an eye open. Kyungsoo nodded, smiling at Jongin.

“A surprise.”

Jongin shifted, propping himself up on his elbows. Kyungsoo bit his lip, admiring Jongin’s pretty face. “A surprise for me? How kind of you, love, I simply must repay you in some way,” Jongin said, blinking blearily at Kyungsoo.

“I’ll take last night’s experience as payment,” Kyungsoo smiled shyly, brushing a hand over Jongin’s cheek. When he took his hand away, there was a black smudge over Jongin’s cheek, and Kyungsoo remembered that he never managed to wash his hands last night, thanks to Jongin.

“You got dirt on your face,” Kyungsoo murmured, clambering over Jongin’s waist to sit on him and wiping his face with his wrist. “Well, how did it get there?” Jongin said, pretending to tap his chin thoughtfully.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you slept with the gardener last night,” Kyungsoo said, biting down on a laugh that threatened to bubble over.

“Ah yes, that reminds me. I met my gardener last night, and he was so beautiful I could hardly resist him,” Jongin said huskily. Kyungsoo leaned over to brush his mouth over Jongin’s lips in a kiss, notwithstanding morning breath so long as he was carefully not to open his mouth.

“Are you saying you slept with the gardener?” Kyungsoo asked, backing away a bit to speak. Jongin placed his hands on his hips, pressing him down onto his body.

“Why, yes I did. We had fun last night,” Jongin said, amusement tinged in his voice. Kyungsoo finally burst and giggled, looking away. Jongin smirked, hugging Kyungsoo close while he snorted un-sexily.

“I think we had more than fun last night, Jongin,” Kyungsoo said, huffing as he tried to pull away from Jongin. He was rewarded with Jongin touching his mind and memories of last night, at which he blushed, looking away from Jongin’s laughing gaze. “Oh, so you enjoyed yourself, yes? Well, that’s good to know then. It’d be awfully sorry if you didn’t like it when I licked your—”

“OKAY! OH, I THINK IT’S TIME FOR BREAKFAST,” Kyungsoo said loudly over Jongin’s voice, breaking Jongin’s hold on his waist to sit up on the bed. Jongin laughed under his breath, sitting up and bracing a hand across Kyungsoo’s torso. “Don’t be like that, love, let’s…  _canoodle_ in bed a little longer.”

“Canoodle.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

Kyungsoo looked at him like he was trying to decide if Jongin was edible or not. “You left me last night for a significant amount of time. The least you could do is repay it back,” Jongin said helpfully.

“Could we at least brush our teeth first?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongin allowed him to scamper into the bathroom and bring their toothbrushes and mugs in exchange for one more hour in bed. It was a deal the both of them were reluctant to refuse.

*

“This is awesome as fuck, Kyungsoo, you’ve really outdone yourself this time!” Luhan yelled. Jongin and Kyungsoo had finally dragged themselves out of bed to have breakfast, and were barely at the French glass doors of the castle before Kyungsoo heard Luhan yelling. He couldn’t even see Luhan, but he could already hear him yelling, and that was not something he wanted to get used to. There were only three reasons Luhan ever yelled and one of them was a rated R reason.

Unfortunately, one of the other reasons was that he was possibly drunk (at noon!!), and Luhan proved this to be right when Kyungsoo caught sight of him stumbling over a step and Sehun had to catch him before he cracked his skull open like an egg on the castle grounds. Then they’d never get the blood stains out.

“Brother, are you alright?” Jongin said, concerned as he went over to see if Luhan was fine. Kyungsoo looked around the gardens while Jongin and Sehun fussed over Luhan (which he loved). The mix of white and red roses were just as lovely as Kyungsoo thought it’d be; he couldn’t decide between white or red anyway, so he planted all of the seeds at random. All of the roses were in full bloom, which was not common before spring but with Kyungsoo to upkeep the plants and make sure they weren’t freezing, he’d say the results of all his hard work were not that bad.

“Oh, Kyungsoo, you’re here, have you seen the roses?” Luhan sighed when he spotted Kyungsoo standing over a rose bush. Kyungsoo glared at him. “I planted them.”

“Yes, they’re lovely, aren’t they?” Luhan said dreamily, leaning all of his weight on Sehun. “I think you’ve had one too many a drink for the afternoon,” Kyungsoo said dryly. Sehun looked frustrated, but he gave Kyungsoo a friendly nod anyway.

“For obvious reasons,” Sehun groaned while he bent over to lift Luhan into his arms, “We both shall have to retire for now. The sun’s starting to climb up in the sky,” Sehun said to the both of them, jerking his head towards the sun shining above them.

“Yeah, get some sleep,” Kyungsoo said, peeking through the rose bush to see if the weed was still there. It was, and it looked very comfortable too, like it was snoozing in the shade of all the roses around it.

Jongin waved Sehun goodbye while Luhan muttered something drowsily as Sehun carried him over the steps, running a hand through Sehun’s dark hair. Kyungsoo heard “You gonna bite me later?” and quickly walked towards Jongin, trying not to shudder at the thought of them having kinky, bite-y sex.

Jongin grinned at Kyungsoo, catching the last part of Kyungsoo’s thoughts. “I’ve bitten you once before,” Jongin said to him. Kyungsoo shushed him furiously even though no one was around.

“I only let you because you couldn’t resist, not because I wanted you to take my blood,” Kyungsoo replied, taking Jongin’s hand and lacing their fingers together. Jongin admired the roses all around him, a smile playing on his lips.

“You know, during the day the roses do look rather beautiful,” Jongin said, tugging Kyungsoo’s hand gently. They walked along the steps languidly in silence, breathing in the fresh scent of newly bloomed roses. Kyungsoo shifted his gaze forward for a moment, and spotted something on the garden table and chairs not far ahead from them.

“Is that a bottle of wine?” Kyungsoo asked Jongin, pointing at the glass bottle on the table. Jongin blinked and nodded when he spotted it. “I believe it is, my love. We should take it back in,” he murmured.

Kyungsoo hurried forward to pick the bottle up, only to realize that it was still half full. There were two wine glasses sitting beside on the garden table, which gave Kyungsoo an idea.

“Jongin, the bottle isn’t finished yet,” Kyungsoo said, showing it to him when Jongin joined him. “Indeed,” Jongin said, taking the bottle by the neck and sloshing it around.

“Since there’s two glasses here and a half finished bottle of wine, shouldn’t we finish it for the sake of Luhan’s health?” Kyungsoo asked, taking a seat beside a rose bush. Jongin glanced at him, trying to assess his tone.

“What if you end up like Luhan? It doesn’t take much alcohol for you to become like him,” Jongin murmured, sitting down despite his words. Kyungsoo wiped the edges of the wine glasses with his sleeve, tipping the last few drops at the bottom of the glass into the rose bush. The roses were going to have a hell of a time later, but it was the least of Kyungsoo’s concerns.

“Well then, I have you to carry me back into the room for another session of  _canoodling_ , won’t I? Besides, it’s our three month anniversary. I’m permitted to get drunk before three in the afternoon,” Kyungsoo teased, pushing the now clean, empty glasses to Jongin. He poured out the wine into both glasses and handed one to Kyungsoo, putting the bottle down and settling into his seat before taking a sip from his own glass.

“It was excellent canoodling this morning, mm?” Jongin said, quirking an eyebrow at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo nodded, bravely swallowing a mouthful of wine. It was sweet at first but bitter down his throat, but what could he do except swallow quickly?

“This is terrible,” Kyungsoo noted, putting the glass down on the table. Jongin chuckled, refilling Kyungsoo’s cup. They still had some more left, but Kyungsoo didn’t mind sitting out here while sipping wine with Jongin.

The moment was deliberate and unhurried, and Kyungsoo liked that about spending time with Jongin in the sun. It felt like he was falling in love with Jongin again, but this time it was better. This time, there was more time. 

 


	2. Closed off from love (I didn't need the pain)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongin is jealous, and he doesn't want Kyungsoo to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> charm, my number one ttc hoe, gave me the idea and the encouragement to write this. I'm forever grateful and disgruntled about that :-)

Jongin stared at Kyungsoo, fawning over the sunflowers with Luhan a few feet away from him. A smile traced the corners of Kyungsoo’s lips, and Luhan grinned back in reply. An ugly, nauseating feeling bubbled low in Jongin’s stomach. It was too much all at once; too sickly sweet, too bright, too much love.

He looked away.

 _Walk away_ , he told himself, taking a few deep breaths, _walk away_ _before you do something you’ll regret._

And he did so, taking three steps back from the French glass doors just out of Kyungsoo’s sight. If he’d lingered any longer Kyungsoo would’ve been able to sense his presence. Any longer and Kyungsoo would come over and find Jongin standing in a cloud of disillusioned, cluttered thoughts of doubt and increasing despair; it was the last thing Jongin wanted him to see.   

He felt irrational, selfish for even thinking of it, but Jongin hated that the kingdom was taking away much of his time from Kyungsoo.

It was an irresponsible thought, one that deserved a beating from his father if he was still alive today. Jongin wasn’t foolish, he knew that the kingdom still came before everything else but _Kyungsoo_ ; Kyungsoo and his soft, crooked smiles, his voice, his little thoughtful gestures…

Everything about his love broke Jongin’s heart.   

Jongin felt his heart clenching tight and his guts twisting together at the same time. People always said that jealousy was for fools. But if they knew how exquisite Kyungsoo was, would they still say the same thing?

It was something Jongin kept carefully under wraps; his dark, festering _jealousy._ He’d found that he could shield some thoughts from Kyungsoo if he tried hard enough, and it was an ability he come to use over the recent weeks. He didn’t want Kyungsoo seeing this side of him; he was terrified to know what Kyungsoo would think of him.

Everything started when Jongin realized he was —regretfully— spending less days with Kyungsoo now, still working on repairing the relationship between Lycanfort and Europe. It was relatively easy since Jongdae was an amicable leader, but it was still time consuming nonetheless.

And even though he knew intellectually that he and Kyungsoo had more than enough time on their hands to memorize the lines criss-crossing their palms, aligning the slopes and dips of their bodies into a complete piece, he still counted the days where he spent less than 4 hours with Kyungsoo, not including the hours they slept together. So far it had been twenty-two days, turning twenty-three thanks to his busy schedule.

To Jongin, it was like not giving the proper devotion to his mate.

After all, he would only have one for the rest of his life, and he’d have only this chance alone to show Kyungsoo how much he loved him and wanted to take care of him. But time and time again, the kingdom would pull him away from Kyungsoo, and he hated it most of all because Kyungsoo seemed completely unaffected by it.

There he was at the garden now, giggling with Luhan while he tried to teach his brother how to weed out plants without hurting them ( _because of course, that was Kyungsoo; always considering others before himself)._

Just the other day, he’d heard from Suho that Kyungsoo went on a ramble to the castle ranch with Baekhyun, and also to Europe to visit Jongdae. The week before that, he’d even gone into town with Luhan, Sehun and Baekhyun for a change of scenery. Of course, what Kyungsoo did in his free time was his entirely own business but still, it didn’t stop Jongin from feeling the distance stretch out between them like a crater.

Jongin had ended up going to bed every night for the past month feeling like he wasn’t himself anymore.  

It really shouldn’t matter that they were spending some time away from each other, because wasn’t that supposed to be healthy for their relationship? Regardless, it did, and it made Jongin feel sick to the stomach.

He forced himself to walk further away from the glass doors, down the hallway leading to his office.

God only knew that all he ever wanted to do was love Kyungsoo and never leave his side, but he was afraid, so afraid that he’d smother Kyungsoo. The last thing Jongin wanted was for Kyungsoo to get annoyed with him being clingy or acting too possessive.

So he gave him the space he thought Kyungsoo needed and then some more, now that he couldn’t be with Kyungsoo even if he wanted to. It was just… _unfair_ , how unaffected Kyungsoo seemed to be.

Like he wouldn’t have needed Jongin if they’d never crossed paths. Some days he did wonder, about what would happen if Kyungsoo did not feel nearly as strong as he did for Jongin now. Would he have left, never to return? Or would he have stayed, and yet Jongin would never please him enough?

Jongin caught himself short. Those were darker, more morose thoughts better left for a later time. He had a lunch break and had thought of inviting Kyungsoo to join him, but since he was already in the gardens it was probably safe to assume he dined early. Jongin growled low in frustration, bunching his fingers into his hair.

His stomach was growling, but food was the last thing on his mind. All Jongin could do was heave a sigh, grit his teeth and pretend everything was okay, at least for a while.

-

When the meeting ended, the sun was glowing orange in the horizon. Officers left in a trail bowing at Jongin in respect. He nodded and waved them all away, mind already returning from Europe to somewhere closer to home. Jongin didn’t need to check to know that Kyungsoo was probably still at the garden, fussing over the flowerbed.

He was probably with someone too, someone who wasn’t Jongin. Someone who obviously had more time to spend with Kyungsoo.

Luhan had reminded him almost a year ago when Jongin thought he’d lose Kyungsoo forever, that he wasn’t the only one who loved Kyungsoo.

That made Jongin feel terribly small.

Because wouldn’t that just make him another person in a long line, wanting time with Kyungsoo? Yes, Kyungsoo was his mate, but he was also Lycanfort’s king’s mate. He was as much a figure to look up to as he was someone that people came to care about very easily. If he went out looking for him and found him with someone else, what kind of person would Jongin be to take Kyungsoo away from them (even though he desperately wanted to)?

 _I just want… I want him for my own_ , Jongin thought reluctantly, afraid to admit it to even himself. His hands grew clammy just thinking about it. He wanted to be selfish, but he wasn’t allowed to.

There was an abrupt knock on the door. “Sir?”

Jongin glanced up, spotting familiar red irises and hair as black as spilled ink. “Yes, Sehun?” he replied.

He thought he sounded a little absent, as if his depressing thoughts were creeping into his voice. Jongin cleared his throat as Sehun spoke. “Luhan told me to get you for dinner. You um… I don’t mean to be out of line, sir, but are you alright?” Sehun frowned.

“Y-Yes, of course. It was just a long day,” he forced a smile.

Sehun seemed to buy it, and Jongin stood up, dusting off his vest and standing up. Sehun held the door open while Jongin made his way around his desk.

“I think Luhan asked the chefs to serve roast turkey today… Your favourite, he says,” Sehun said conversationally.

 _And also Kyungsoo’s_ , Jongin thought, feeling himself deflate. Kyungsoo was generally a hearty eater and wasn’t too picky, but he’d noticed that whenever turkey was served, Kyungsoo would finish the meal without so much a smudge of meat left on his plate.

“I do enjoy it, yes,” Jongin replied casually.

“Mm, I’m sure dinner will be most pleasant tonight. Also, Kyungsoo brought in some flowers from the garden to spruce up the castle walls a bit. The smell of wild lavender accompanies meals quite well, no? Even to one such as I…”

Sehun’s voice faded into white noise, Jongin’s thoughts going off track. All he could think of was how sweet Kyungsoo was, how his presence had changed the castle in so many ways.

Jongin had heard of having one great love in life; the one thing that made most people blind with love. He had no doubt his great love was Kyungsoo alone; Kyungsoo was radiant, shining bright like a star against a dark sky and all Jongin wanted to do was bask in his light for the rest of his life. He had never ever thought about shirking his responsibilities, not until Kyungsoo showed up in his life and rearranged Jongin’s priorities for him in a blink of an eye. 

They reached the dining room, and Sehun muttered something low, patting Jongin’s shoulder.

He should’ve known, but to Jongin’s mild surprise Kyungsoo was already there, smiling up at Jongin. He was caught unaware and returned his smile a little weakly. Just as Sehun forewarned, the thick smell of lavender in the air hit him as he inhaled sharply at the sight of Kyungsoo. There was so much he wanted to do at once; take him away, hold his hand, kiss his lips.

“Hey. You didn’t have dinner with me the past two days, Jongin, so I had Luhan drag you here from your office,” Kyungsoo said, standing up to kiss Jongin’s cheek and grip his hand briefly.

Jongin savoured the brief moment. “Love,” he murmured in acknowledgment.

Kyungsoo gave Jongin his favourite smile, eyes curling up into crescents and mouth lifting up into the shape of a heart. It hurt to look at him sometimes.

And if it wasn’t painful enough just to behold Kyungsoo with his eyes, he caught the drift of Kyungsoo’s thoughts, _I missed you._ It was more than Jongin could take in his current state. He couldn’t manage a reply before Kyungsoo stepped away to sit back down.

“Good, good, everyone is here now, hm? Bring on the turkey, girls,” Luhan clapped his hands twice, loud enough to snap Jongin out of it. The servants standing in a corner left the room at once to serve dinner.

Jongin looked around the table; Baekhyun and Chanyeol were missing today, off somewhere in Europe. That left only four of them at the table and for that, Jongin was grateful. Too many people at once could be cloying at times, especially when he was feeling so low.

“I can’t wait to eat, honestly. We were out so long in the gardens today that we missed lunch,” Kyungsoo grumbled, plopping back into his seat. 

Jongin immediately felt a pang of intense self-dislike, worry and jealousy all at once; if he’d said something earlier in the afternoon then Kyungsoo wouldn’t be hungry, and maybe it could’ve been a moment for Jongin to just talk and make sure Kyungsoo was okay.

 _Though he’s almost always alright without me_ , Jongin thought. He felt like throwing up.

Wine was poured first, to accompany the food. Chatter began to echo in the dining hall soon enough, like it always did; Luhan wanted to discuss plans for New Year’s Eve which was still three months away. Kyungsoo laughed at him daringly in the face while Sehun clamped his mouth shut, listening quietly. Jongin didn’t say much, only nodded at a few questions and drank his wine.

The turkey was great, except it could’ve been cardboard and he wouldn’t have noticed it at all. Jongin could hardly keep his gaze off of Kyungsoo, watching him eat and talk and drink the entire time.

It was so easy to stay quiet when Jongin was with Kyungsoo; he set Jongin’s soul at ease like nothing else could. Maybe that was why each time he wanted to voice his thoughts to Kyungsoo, it all suddenly seemed so childish and petulant. Only when he was away from Kyungsoo did those thoughts return to haunt him like a plague, turning his inherited responsibilities into a burden.

Kyungsoo was almost done with his food when Jongin felt his thoughts drift off absently for a moment, like a cloud moving with the wind. That was when Kyungsoo suddenly gasped and looked up at Jongin.

“What—”

Jongin stiffened and jerked himself away from Kyungsoo, jamming a block down on his thoughts. He cursed himself under his breath for accidentally losing control over that filter between himself and Kyungsoo. Everyone at the table went silent as Kyungsoo grew pale and gaped at Jongin.

“Um, did something just happen?” Luhan asked, frowning.

Jongin shook his head, tearing his gaze away from Kyungsoo guiltily. “No, nothing’s wrong,” he said, picking at his half eaten plate of turkey and vegetables.

Kyungsoo stood up, cutlery clattering across his plate. “Jongin, I know what I heard in my head, that wasn’t _nothing_ —” he started hotly. Luhan cut him off, “Wait, this doesn’t sound like something you both can discuss here at dinner,” he held up his hands.

Jongin could tell Kyungsoo was furious. “You’re right, brother. I will take my leave at once,” he mumbled.

“No— Jongin, don’t walk away from this,” Kyungsoo sputtered in confusion as Jongin stood up and tried to walk away. He heard Luhan sigh wearily.

“Aren’t you going to go after him?” was all Jongin heard before he took off running, unable to hold back his tears of frustration. He ran past several servants, all of them surprised at his behaviour. If any of them were concerned, Jongin didn’t stop to check.

He just wanted to get away from everyone. All he knew was that he didn’t want Kyungsoo to follow him, didn’t want him to see any more of his thoughts than he already did and didn’t want to see him smiling anymore if Jongin wasn’t the reason behind his smile.

 _So selfish_ , Jongin thought.

Jongin soon found himself running towards the French glass doors, the smell of flowers clinging to the cool air. Just beyond were the trees, shadows growing longer as the sun slowly sank in the sky. They looked inviting, perfect to get lost in till he could find it in himself to face Kyungsoo again.

He elbowed the French doors open, took a step out and was pulled back by an arm just as he was about to take a second step forward. Jongin didn’t need to turn around to hear and feel the confusion and hurt radiating from Kyungsoo.

“Jongin… where are you going?” Kyungsoo asked softly, sounding a bit tearful.

He didn’t even hear Kyungsoo running after him. Jongin looked down shamefully, wishing he didn’t have to do this now.

“Somewhere else, love. I don’t wish for you to see me like this—”

“Since when did we have a choice in what side we show one another? Jongin, tell me what’s going on so we can fix it,” Kyungsoo pleaded, and Jongin felt his resolve crack the way it always did when it came to him. He turned slightly, catching sight of Kyungsoo’s red-rimmed eyes. His hand was tight on Jongin’s arm, as if he was afraid Jongin would run again.

“It isn’t something I want you to worry about, _min kjӕrlighet_ ,” Jongin tried to say, but Kyungsoo wasn’t having it.

“I could always hear you, Jongin. When it— when _that_ happened, I suddenly heard all those things that I never heard before, not from you. How are you keeping things from me, Jongin, and why? I d-don’t want to feel like you’re not telling me something,” Kyungsoo’s lower lip quivered.

 “No, love, please don’t cry,” Jongin said, feeling alarmed when tears pooled in Kyungsoo’s eyes.

“Shut up, you cried first,” Kyungsoo muttered vehemently, wiping at his eyes hastily.

Jongin stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to do with Kyungsoo. Clearly, he couldn’t run away from this even if he wanted to, but he didn’t have a clue on where to start. And he knew Kyungsoo could be hard headed when he wanted to be, especially now. What could he say to build a bridge between the rift?

“Say something, Jongin, the silence is killing me,” Kyungsoo whispered, hand sliding down to lace his fingers with Jongin’s. Jongin bit his lip and said, “Perhaps we should go somewhere more private.”

At that, Kyungsoo tugged on his hand decisively and dragged him to the direction of their bedroom without a word. Jongin still didn’t want to unblock his thoughts from Kyungsoo, and he could feel Kyungsoo’s frustration over the fact that he couldn’t seem to see into Jongin like he used to.

They walked and reached the bedroom in less than a minute. When Kyungsoo shut the door, he turned around and pushed weakly at Jongin’s chest.

“Stop fucking holding back your thoughts, Jongin, I _can’t stand it anymore_. It’s like I’m not breathing right even though you’re right here with me,” Kyungsoo said, looking as if he didn’t know what to do with himself and Jongin before him.

“You don’t need me to breathe right, love,” Jongin murmured, unable to resist running a hand down Kyungsoo’s cheek.

Kyungsoo brushed him away impatiently, and Jongin’s heart dropped. He let his hand fall to his side.

“I don’t know why you’re being like this out of nowhere. I thought we were going fine,” Kyungsoo said, almost lilting the last part into a question. Jongin could only shrug his shoulders once; he couldn’t give Kyungsoo a good answer.

Then he felt the soft brush of Kyungsoo’s thoughts against his own: _don’t you still love me?_ Even without using his voice, Jongin could hear the sadness behind Kyungsoo’s thoughts.

“I always love you, Kyungsoo, there is no doubt about that,” Jongin said thickly, “but perhaps I love you too much, _min kjӕrlighet_ , more than I should.” Kyungsoo took a step forward, too close for Jongin to bear.

“Just tell me why you feel the need to put this wall between us. I-If you want to leave it there then fine, but I deserve to know why, at least,” Kyungsoo said, sniffling. Jongin wanted to touch him and tell him everything yet keep it all in at the same time, because he knew Kyungsoo would move mountains to make Jongin feel better about himself. _He shouldn’t have to try that hard for me,_ Jongin thought, reaching carefully for Kyungsoo’s hand.

This time, Kyungsoo didn’t brush him away but still stared up at him, waiting for an answer.

“I just…” Jongin began. He stopped, then gently pulled Kyungsoo towards the bed and sat them both down at the foot of the bed.

“I never wanted to keep things from you, my love, it just happened to turn out that way when I realized there were parts of me I didn’t want to you to see. You don’t know how I’ve felt the last few weeks, spending so much time away from you and watch you be happy with someone who wasn’t me,” Jongin said hollowly.

“You could’ve just said you wanted me to spend less time with other people,” Kyungsoo argued, “I thought you were busy.”

“I know. But that isn’t the worst of it, love, I,” Jongin almost couldn’t say it. Kyungsoo tightened their fingers together.

“I’m not the only one who loves you, _min kjӕrlighet_. I know this for a fact and have accepted it, but… it also means that you’re not all mine. As a king, I’m not allowed to be selfish in any way, and yet,” Jongin felt tears building up again, “each time I look at you, love, that is all I want to be. It pains me that you’ll never be mine and mine alone.”

“Jongin, that’s rubbish,” Kyungsoo was already shaking his head. “I— We still spend time together, Jongin. Every morning, every night and whenever in between, there’s always a little time for us—”

“It’s not enough,” Jongin murmured.

Kyungsoo gave him a sad look. “Well, there’s only 24 hours in a day. And besides, Jongin, it doesn’t make you selfish if all you want is to spend more time with me. I’d be more than happy to be with you, it’s just that I didn’t want to bother you unless it was really important…”

“ _You’re_ important. I wish you’d bother me more, if that’s the case,” Jongin said, rubbing circles on the back of Kyungsoo’s hand.

“It still doesn’t explain why you think you should hide all this from me. You and I, we’re supposed to tell each other things like this.”

“Love, you hardly seemed affected by my absence at all,” Jongin said mournfully, “If I had said anything earlier you would’ve gone to extreme lengths to change things, and like I said, I can’t keep you all to myself,” Jongin replied.

“That’s because you’re sad and I’m supposed to make you happy, Jongin. And we’re meant to be, Jongin,” Kyungsoo leaned in close and kissed Jongin’s mouth gently, “you’re allowed to be selfish, if that’s what you want to call it. Everyone else is secondary to you, Jongin, I promise.” He kissed Jongin once more, and Jongin drew an arm around his waist.

“I thought you were a little quiet the past few days anyway,” Kyungsoo whispered, “there’s usually a constant buzz in the back of my head coming from you and I’d just assumed that maybe you were preoccupied with things.”

Jongin shook his head. “I hated being preoccupied. I just wanted you, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo hummed in reply, placing his forehead on Jongin’s. Slowly, Jongin released his hold on his thoughts. He felt Kyungsoo sifting through his emotions carefully and received Kyungsoo’s warmth and affection in return. It was… _nice_ , to feel loved by Kyungsoo. Jongin would never tire of this feeling.

“We should get back to Sehun and Luhan,” Kyungsoo murmured after a while, eyes closed. “It’d be rude not to go back and at least apologize for leaving them hanging.”

“I don’t want to apologize anymore for wanting you, my love,” Jongin replied, brushing his thumb over the corner of his lips. Kyungsoo’s eyes blinked open in surprise.

“I want to be selfish for a little longer before we leave this room,” Jongin said, and tugged Kyungsoo into his lap a little roughly. He kissed Kyungsoo and wound his hands around Kyungsoo’s waist, falling backwards onto the mattress. Kyungsoo made a small noise of protest at first, but stopped after a while when Jongin slid his hands up his top and caressed his back.

“Jongin, I—” Kyungsoo broke off his sentence when Jongin began to kiss a trail down his neck, hands subtly pushing Kyungsoo’s top further up.

Jongin ran his fingers over the expanse of Kyungsoo’s smooth skin, feeling every curve in his body. He loved Kyungsoo so much, wanted to worship him and love him each and every single day. There was nothing imperfect about Kyungsoo, and there was nothing that could not be loved.

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched when Jongin dragged his thumbs over his nipples, sighing into Jongin’s mouth.

“Say you’ll never hide anything from me again, Jongin,” he whispered, fingers digging into Jongin’s shoulders. Jongin nosed at Kyungsoo’s pulse point, inhaling his scent deeply.

“Never, my love. Never again,” he replied, nibbling on Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo hooked a leg around Jongin’s knees, grasping at his clothes. “Show me that you won’t, Jongin. Show me that you still love me—”

“I’m always falling in love with you, Kyungsoo, with every second,” Jongin muttered back, reluctantly taking his hands away to remove his clothes. He managed to get his vest off before he dipped back down for another kiss, once, twice and rolled his hips into Kyungsoo’s crotch. Kyungsoo keened in his mouth, fingers bunching in the sheets. It was perfect, but not enough.

Jongin wrapped his hands around Kyungsoo’s waist and pulled him further up onto the bed. He laid Kyungsoo’s head down against the pillows and proceeded to remove his clothes, undoing buttons and zippers as fast as he could.

He wanted to feel all of Kyungsoo against all of him, be close to him in the most organic way he knew. Kyungsoo caught his mouth in another kiss and held his chin gently while Jongin tugged everything off till Kyungsoo was completely undressed, the constellation of moles decorating his fair skin from his shoulders to his tummy to his inner thighs completely exposed to his gaze. Jongin could hardly breathe.

“You’re beautiful, love. Always,” Jongin said reverently, almost unwilling to touch Kyungsoo. What had he done to deserve him? What was the price, for such beauty, for the opportunity to love someone like Kyungsoo?

Kyungsoo reached out a hand to Jongin in reply, bringing it to his mouth. “I love you too, Jongin,” he whispered. _Very much_ , his thoughts echoed in Jongin’s head.  

-

Five days later, Luhan flounced into the kitchen with Sehun in tow, fuming red in the face.

“Where the _hell_ is my brother?” he gritted out, directing the question to all the servants working in the kitchen. They looked up, probably surprised that he was asking them.

“Or more appropriately, why the hell have none of you said anything for the past few days? I honestly thought they took off on some impromptu vacation trip before I saw one of you girls collecting empty plates by his door. Have you been _feeding_ my brother?” he scowled like it was a sin to serve the King.

 “Luhan, they were only doing their jobs,” Sehun said in a low voice. Luhan sent them all a glare. Sometimes he wished they weren’t so loyal to Kai; it wasn’t normal at all to stay in one’s bedroom any longer than three days if one wasn’t sick. Why couldn’t have the servant girls said something to Luhan, even if it would’ve seemed like they were prying?

And how dare Kai leave all the responsibilities to Luhan, the fucking _nerve_.

Since he couldn’t get any answers out of the servants, he moved on to the source of the problem itself. Luhan proceeded to storm through the castle with Sehun trailing after him, trying to talk some sense into him.

“Like any normal couple, they might be going through a rough patch, Luhan. I don’t think it’d be a good idea to interrupt their time together,” Sehun said, eyebrows furrowed together in worry.

“I don’t care if they’ve just gone through a rough patch. Kai is the rightful ruler of Lycanfort, not me and therefore he should get out of his room and do his _job_!” Luhan yelled, stomping lightly as if Kai would be able to hear him from this distance.

Sehun knew better than to try and contradict Luhan when he was in a determined mind set, so he took a back seat and let Luhan steer them along. He just hoped he wouldn’t lose his head today; he quite liked it where it was.

Subtly, he stood five steps behind Luhan when they stopped before the wooden, unassuming door of Kai’s chambers. Sehun always thought that Kai and Kyungsoo were perfect for each other, so strong and capable on their own yet still in need of one another. 

Luhan was a complete opposite, like an expensive jewel begging to be noticed; luckily for Sehun, he didn’t mind paying attention to Luhan as much as he could take.

Giving the door three sharp knocks, Luhan tapped his foot impatiently. It was late afternoon, almost time for Sehun to sleep. He briefly wondered if today was the day he’d sleep and actually never wake up.

After a full minute, Luhan lifted a hand to knock again, this time with his fist. “C’mon, open up, you lovebirds. The world, coincidentally enough, does not revolve around the both of you.”

There was a loud but muffled reply from behind the door. Luhan listened closely; Sehun thought it sounded like Kyungsoo saying, “Look who’s talking.”

That got Luhan’s attention and his lip curled up the way it did whenever he was hideously angry at something.

“Ooh, I’m going to come in and make sure the both of you can’t have children for the next century—” Sehun stepped in and pulled Luhan back, kicking and throwing punches into the air just in time for Kai to open the door, chest bare and hair a tousled mess. He was smiling despite the sleep still clinging to his eyes.

“Hello, brother. Anything we can help you with?” he said nonchalantly. From behind Kai, Sehun could see Kyungsoo giggling in bed, small dark markings all over his neck. Sehun knew a hickey when he saw one and had to think of something else to avoid blushing hard. It wasn’t hard to guess what they’d been doing the past five days behind closed doors.   

Meanwhile, Luhan still wasn’t done. “Oh yeah, maybe with the _kingdom_?” Luhan enunciated the word, looking dangerous even though Sehun was holding him back. Kai was obviously used to it (unlike Sehun) and just shrugged.

“It’s only been a two days or so, I’m sure everything is still fine—”

“It is the afternoon of the _fifth_ day where I’m in charge of YOUR kingdom. What have you two been _doing_ in there?!” Luhan yelled. At that, Kai blushed just a little and took a step backwards into the bedroom.

“We’ve been… spending some time with ourselves. Suho has stopped by thrice already just to update on a few things, and so far things have been going on well without me,” Kai said, sounding a little embarrassed. Luhan rolled his eyes.

“Because I’ve been placed in charge involuntarily, of _course_ everything is going fine so far. I don’t mind if you need a day or two to yourselves, but really, a warning would’ve been nice. And Kyungsoo, I would stop giggling if I were you because I’m about to whoop your ass when you leave this room—”

Kyungsoo was wiggling about in bed while he laughed at Luhan’s outburst, probably trying to put on some clothes when Luhan spoke. He stood up abruptly with his shirt on inside out and jeans hastily pulled up to wrap his arms around Jongin’s waist.

“We both know you won’t ever do that, right, Luhan? So um, we’ll grovel for your forgiveness later if we come out, but for now we’re not done yet,” Kyungsoo gestured with his hands eloquently. Sehun couldn’t help a small smile of amusement, though he made damn sure Luhan couldn’t see it.

“If?” Luhan repeated in a choked voice. The door slammed in their faces and Sehun could hear them laughing quietly to themselves. Luhan deflated in Sehun’s arms.

“What if the kingdom falls while they get it on in there? What if, Sehun?” he whipped around to look up at Sehun with a horrified look. Sehun made him stand on his own two feet properly, dusting off his robes.

“Well, first of all, I don’t think the kingdom will fall anytime soon, considering that it’s been growing quite well economically. Second of all, your brother seemed happy. Don’t you think the health of the King comes first before all else, so he can be a good leader?” Sehun asked wryly. Luhan seemed to think about it for a second or two, pursing his lips.

“I suppose… But it means more work for you, really, so I don’t think I mind it all that much actually, now that we’ve cleared it up between them,” Luhan smiled brightly up at Sehun. 

Sehun froze momentarily, contemplating what Luhan meant exactly. He supposed he could’ve thought about that before he ever said anything…

But Luhan was already done with it and moving on.

“What shall we have for lunch then, Sehun? I could get the chefs to make a blood cocktail or something for you while I dine on some steak, haven’t had that in a while…” he walked off, clearly expecting Sehun to follow.

Sehun looked at the sturdy, wooden door before him, inaudible noises coming from it. Then he glanced at Luhan’s caramel coloured hair shining in the sunlight. Sehun shrugged; well, he supposed he could handle a kingdom for the next few hours in Luhan’s place and for the sake of his brother-in-law. A King needed time to himself and his mate sometimes.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
